Uddrag fra starten af kapitel 20 i Dear Lover af David Deida.
When I am with you, I want to know how I’m affecting you. I really want to know how you are feeling, right now, in the present moment. I want to know what your deepest heart is feeling. But often, I am dumbfounded by your emotional responses. Everything seems fine to me, and then suddenly you are angry, or crying, or upset about something.
When we talk about it, I often discover that your emotions started with something that I did yesterday, or ten minutes ago. So, I’m frustrated. You are upset, but I can’t do anything about the past, and I often don’t remember things as you do. Sometimes you can’t tell me why you feel so bad. And I don’t seem very good at figuring it out, especially when you don’t exactly know yourself.
But there are other times when your emotional responses open my heart. When I do something that hurts you and you immediately show me your hurt, then I can understand your feelings. My heart can feel your heart’s response to my actions, right now. I really treasure when you immediately show me your pleasure or your pain, because then I can learn and grow. I truly do want to know how you are feeling, but I best learn how to be with you more deeply and with more integrity by knowing your feeling- response right now, as your deepest heart unfolds, not by hearing about what you have held in from the past.