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The Way of the Superior Man: A Spiritual Guide to Mastering the Challenges of Women Work and Sexual Desire af David Deida
This book is a guide for a specific kind of newly evolving man. This man is unabashedly masculine–he is purposeful, confident, and directed, living his chosen way of life with deep integrity and humor–and he is sensitive, spontaneous, and spiritually alive, with a heart-commitment to discovering and living his deepest truth.
This kind of man is totally turned on by the feminine. He loves to take his woman sexually, to ravish her, but not in some old-style macho fashion. Rather, he wants to ravish her with so much love she is vanished, they both vanish, in the fullness of loving itself. He is dedicated to incarnating love on this earth, through his work and his sexuality, and he does so as a free man, bound neither by outer convention nor inner cowardice.
This newly evolving man is not a scared bully, posturing like some King Kong in charge of the universe. Nor is he a new age wimp, all spineless, smiley, and starry-eyed. He has embraced both his inner masculine and feminine, and he no longer holds onto either of them. He doesn’t need to be right all the time, nor does he need to be always safe, cooperative, and sharing, like an androgynous Mr. Nice Guy. He simply lives from his deepest core, fearlessly giving his gifts, feeling through the fleeting moment into the openness of existence, totally committed to magnifying love.
[… fraklip …]
[A]s a culture, we have advanced in terms of personal freedom, sexual equality, and social rights, but we have remained spiritually thwarted and afraid. For the sake of individual autonomy and social fairness, with only good intentions in mind, we have erroneously begun to deny, smooth out, and neutralize our masculine and feminine differences. In doing so, people often end up denying their deepest core desires, which are rooted in their true sexual essence. A lot of people today think they have a balanced sexual essence, but in most cases they are actually suppressing the natural desires which spring from their real masculine or feminine core.
It is important to admit what is real if you are going to really deal with your life. The Way of the Superior Man focuses on many of these issues which we often sidestep or deny. For example, if you truly have a balanced sexual essence, then you are just not that sexually distracted by anyone. But if you are, for instance, a heterosexual man with a true masculine sexual essence, then you will be more or less constantly sexually attracted to feminine women you see all day, at the workplace and on the street. To married women as well as teenage girls. As long as they shine the feminine light, you will feel the pull. How do you turn this potential sexual problem into a spiritual gift?
If you have a masculine sexual essence then you would probably admit, if you were being brutally honest, that your intimate relationship is just not as important to you as the “mission” in your life–but you still want a full and energetic intimate relationship, perhaps quite badly. How do you deal with this often misunderstood dilemma?
To answer questions such as these as clearly as possible, I have chosen to write this book as if speaking to the most common case of a masculine sexual essence: a heterosexual man with a masculine sexual essence. As I’ve said, there are many other possible arrangements of gender, essence, and sexual preference. You could, for instance, be a heterosexual woman with a masculine essence married to a man with a feminine essence, or a homosexual man with a masculine essence married to a man with a feminine essence, and the principles in this book would still apply to you. But I trust the reader to make the appropriate adjustment in wording for his or her own unique case if it is different from this most common one.
I suppose the book could have been called, “The Way of the Superior Person With a Masculine Essence,” but the whole thing would become unwieldy if I tried to unfold every possible permutation of “he” and “she” and “masculine sexual essence” and “balanced sexual essence” and “feminine sexual essence” in every possible heterosexual, bisexual and homosexual relationship. In the end, I opted for simplicity. You can add the permutations yourself. If you or your partner has a masculine sexual essence–regardless of anatomy, gender, or sexual preference–this book will help you clarify your life and enable you to give your deepest gifts, personally and at work, sexually and spiritually.
The Way of the Superior Man is a book written explicitly for people who have already achieved respect for other genders and sexual preferences, and who consider men and women to be social, economic, and political equals. Now, we are ready to move to the next stage, grounded in this mutual respect and equality, but celebrating the sexual and spiritual passions inherent in the masculine/feminine polarity.
It is time to evolve beyond the macho jerk ideal, all spine and no heart. It is also time to evolve beyond the sensitive and caring wimp ideal, all heart and no spine. Heart and spine must be united in a single man, and then gone beyond in the fullest expression of love and consciousness possible, which requires a deep relaxation into the infinite openness of this present moment. And this takes a new kind of guts. This is the Way of the Superior Man.